so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
