I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
