i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
