No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
