the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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