You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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