Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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