Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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