I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
