Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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