morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
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