then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
