with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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