I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
