I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
