Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
