I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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