Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
