Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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