I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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