Are we in a gay sports bar?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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