god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
