i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
PANTIES FOUND
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
