He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
