He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
