I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
