South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
