She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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