He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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