You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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