Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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