you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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