Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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