I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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