"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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