Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just pee around me
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
