Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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