So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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