Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
