he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
