I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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