hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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