STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
