Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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