Welp...herpes.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
