Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
