It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
