buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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