I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
