is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
