I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
