he thought i was a dude.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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